roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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