omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Randomize
