I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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