thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize