Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
