Got a toothbrush?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
