I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
