All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
