Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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