I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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