Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
