i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
what day is it and did you see me today?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
MIDGETS
????
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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