He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
