It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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