is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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