hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
we're so committed to being not committed
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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