we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
