The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
