yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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