You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Holy sore nipples Batman
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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