well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
God, I missed his penis.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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