the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
