Don't make out with my wife yet
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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