WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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