have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
