I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Rumble strips road head = magical
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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