I seem to have left my pride at pride
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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