What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
