i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
