Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize