Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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