its not stalking. its research.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
