saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
