Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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