Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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