Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
