Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
