Your face is a jimmy john
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
