I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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