epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
