remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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