Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
