Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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