Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
