Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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