This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
