no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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