I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
