so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
