Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
