ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
