Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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