After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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