I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
