let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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