Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize