i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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