Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize