Where did you get a picture of my penis
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
