He asked me if I "almost moaned"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
