hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
