Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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