I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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