Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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