ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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