we have officially lost it.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize